Lets begin with one of the six categories we will explore- Diversions, Mental, Relationship, Physical, Interpersonal and Spiritual. Diversions can be activities such as; hobbies, get aways, play, music, and activities such as meditation or mindfulness. Exploring mindfulness is a good start. Mindfulness can help you rediscover that deep wellspring of peace and contentment living inside each of us. It is about observation without criticism; being compassionate with yourself; and focusing on being present. Actually mindfulness is a form of meditation, but don't let that push you away.
To become adept at mindfulness you only need to start with a few minutes in a quiet place. Sit quietly without any interruptions, gently close your eyes, know this is a time for peace, relaxation and being present in the moment. Pay attention to your breathing, feeling the air go into your nostrils and go out. Let any distractions float away and focus on the moment you are in, feeling the air in the room all around you, the feeling of your clothes on your body, notice any noises in the air, what do you smell, what might you taste. Become aware of all your senses for these few minutes. Take about 3-minutes at first to begin your exploration of mindfulness and then gently bring yourself back into your body, into the room, into this moment and slowly open your eyes.
This is a tiny taste of that peace inside you. A wonderful book to explore it deeper is, Mindfulness: An eight-week plan for finding Peace in a Frantic world, by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. An yes, there is even "an app for that", try "Insight Timer".
I hope you will try this coping skill or tap into another "diversion" that is just right for you!
It all begins with a KISS!
Every relationship has a starting point, an element of attraction! What was it for you? Was it her smile? Perhaps his deep, blue eyes? Or maybe the way she moved about the office? For me it was that stolen, KISS!
A kiss represents an expression of affection a show of respect, a greeting, a farewell, or for our discussion an act of pleasure! Do you enjoy kissing your partner? Would you make any changes? Are you kissable? How do you know the other person wants a kiss? In my work as a Sex Therapist often kissing can be problematic for a couple. She may like to kiss and after all these years, he does not value it. Or she smokes and he does not, thus the taste of her cigarettes is a turn-off for him.
I believe kissing is an art form and another playful place for couples to enjoy and share pleasure. If there is a distance in the land of kissing, stop being afraid to address it; choose a time when you are close and enjoying one another and say, "I miss the kissing we once shared. It was such a turn on for me. Could we revisit this place of pleasure again?"