Valentine's Day is approaching, what says “LOVE" to your partner?
Couples come into therapy usually asking for one of two interventions: “I want more communication in this relationship" or “We need to work on intimacy." What are you looking for to enhance your relationship?
Do you know what your partner needs? Gary Chapman wrote the book, “The Five Love Languages". It provides an opportunity to re-charge your relationship-battery! Just imagine new life and energy in the relationship, a sense of being “wanted", maybe even new sexual energy! Sounds good to me!
The 5 love languages are:
Invest in this book, read it together, and make a treasure hunt out of discovering your partner's primary love language and making a daily deposit into his/her love bank!
What does your "sexual menu" look like?
All too often couples slip into a lackluster sexual relationship. This is not intentional it just seems that the excitement and energy fade along with the responsibilities increasing. Those long days and nights of love-making become the scheduled Saturday evening after the kids are in bed, dishes are done, and laundry put up. Really, does this sound like the hot-monkey-sex of years gone by?
Don't be a casualty of this scenario! Let's talk about your "sexual menu" and how to tap into the sexual energy of old! I believe each couple develop a sexual menu over time. It is made up of the time of day, day of the week, foreplay endeavors, sexual positions, and even the outcome. What does yours look like? Is there a predictable day of the week when sex is expected? Do you vary the location of your sexual encounter?
Sexual menu from my perspective has three components- Appetizers, Side Dishes, Main Menu! Appetizers are those activities you are comfortable with now. Could be the kisses, massage, showering together, sleeping naked, and teasing foreplay in the kitchen. Side dishes have the intention of enhancing arousal. Sounds good, doesn't it? Examples are sexual massage, new positions, using toys, watching erotica and even sex outside the bedroom or even under the starry sky! The main menu is all about intercourse and orgasm. Yes, the meat and potatoes of sex. But wouldn't it be fun to have a night of tapas!
The challenge is on! Use the next month to introduce some new appetizers and side dishes into the relationship. Don't let your sexual menu become boring. Enjoy the sexual spirit that awaits you when variety is part of your new commitment!